When the penny drops...

One thing I reflect on constantly as a counsellor is what sort of environment gives a client the opportunity to grow. As a person-centred counsellor, empathy, congruence, unconditional positive regard are the 'core conditions' for someone to grow. But these core conditions are underpinned by a way of being in the room, known as the non-directive attitude, or non-directivity.

So what is this non-directivity which people say is so integral to the person-centred way of being?(1) On the surface, it means a counsellor has no agenda for the sessions, it might mean that counsellors ask very few questions and are quite reflective. Some counsellors might repeat things you say back to you, some might just build gently on what you're saying all with the intention of you talking more about things. But there is so much more to it; there is a whole wealth of reasons that range through philosophy, theory and ethics(1, 2) and it goes far deeper than anything I've mentioned.

Non-directivity means to trust that a client will cover what they're ready to cover, to look at parts of themselves that they feel ready to look at because they feel strong enough to do so. It means ideas for what to do with your issues and your life generally comes from you, not suggestions that I make.(3) Suggestions and advice are sticky things and I think Carl Rogers put it well when asked about it "I still feel that the person who should guide the client’s life is the client."(2)

Some might describe it as being passive and just nodding, agreeing, not challenging.(4) In my experience, I have had sessions where I am non-directive, but they are engaging, fast moving, challenging and even fun. What matters is being as present in the moment as possible.

I think the best way I can describe the person-centred approach to non-directivity is to think about those spiral charity boxes you see at supermarkets. You put a coin in one of the slots and you watch it roll down the spiral till it falls into the hole. You can't change the direction the coin rolls, the coin can only approach it faster or slower. To me the client is the coin, it will get to the point where the penny drops when it's ready; while the counsellor is the speed of the coin. If someone were to try and manipulate the direction and let the penny drop faster, can we guarantee it will fit in the hole? Will a penny person resist the attempt to be steered, or is moving in their own direction too confidently?

A break with the past

The non-directive attitude was an "act of rebellion" against the way therapy was carried out in the first half of the 20th century(1, 2)- it arguably continues to be so. Clients expect therapists or counsellors to drag the sessions and really challenge us, but to be given that space to go at your own pace is a fundamental break with the hierarchy therapy puts in place.

As Witty puts it, the difficulty is that people are not random, but unpredictable.(1) Just because think they can give an analysis, it doesn't mean they know what you think and feel. A person-centred art therapist called Liesl Silverstone summarised her experience of therapy and the power of non-directivity for her own growth "I remember, many, many years ago, when interpreting jarred for me: I was on a brief counselling course. I was required to tell my story in a one-to-one session with the facilitator. She gave me a lengthy interpretation. I was outraged and rejected it. Some four years on, in my therapy with a person-centred counsellor, I had reached a stage when I could own the interpretation of four years earlier, but at my pace, at my time of readiness."(5)

The penny feels it's being manipulated, it's made to turn when it is not ready and instead of dropping, it clogs the hole because of how it's approached it. People need space to explore their experience to create their own truth.

Because of that, it is also the most ethical way of being with clients because we're not increasing the chances of distress. That's not to say distress can't happen in these kind of sessions, a counsellor might not be 'staying close' to what we're saying and we might feel alone, withdrawn of painfully vulnerable.

Conclusion

What I can say from my experience as a counsellor and group facilitator that non-directivity, to be involved but let the person and/or group shape the direction, is an effective thing.

Being non-directive doesn't mean distant or quiet, like a wall waiting for a mural or a mirror waiting to be looked into. It's about the acceptance that a client/penny/person can learn from their own wisdom if they are given the power and control of the space. How often have you felt you didn't have control in places you were told would be helpful?

References

1. Stephen, Susan; Di Malta, Gina and Cooper, Mick and O'Hara, Maureen and Gololob, Yana and Stephen, Susan, eds. (2024). The non-directive attitude. In: The Handbook of Person-Centred Psychotherapy and Counselling. Bloomsbury, London. ISBN 9781350439863 Available at: https://strathprints.strath.ac.uk/83477/

2. Schmid, Peter. (2005). 'Facilitative responsiveness: Non-directiveness from anthropological, epistemological and ethical perspectives. Embracing non-directivity: Reassessing person-centred theory and practice in the 21st century' , pp.74-94. Available at: https://www.pfs-online.at/1/papers2/paper-nd.pdf

3. Witty, Marge (2004). 'The Difference Directiveness Makes: The Ethics' The Person-Centered Journal. 11 (1-2). Available at: https://www.adpca.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/11/11_1_4.pdf

4. Stephen, Susan (2024). 'In conversation: What it really means to be non-directive' Therapy Today. Available at: https://www.bacp.co.uk/bacp-journals/therapy-today/2024/articles-november/what-it-really-means-to-be-non-directive/

5. Silverstone, Liesl (2009) 'Art Therapy Exercises: Inspirational and Practical Ideas to Stimulate the Imagination' Buy new: Waterstones // Buy pre-used: Abe Books